Our sweet girl is 13!

Our sweet girl, adopted last April 29th... is 13 today! (April 28th) Yes, she was adopted the day before her 12th birthday, last year! Such mixed emotions now about this teenage birthday!!! As her adoptive mother, many things go through my mind. I wonder if her biological mom has thought about her at all, today. I, also, wonder if her bio grandmother has thought about her which is probably more likely than her bio mom. Is the pain just too great, knowing they lost her, so they choose to forget about her? I wonder, but I don't judge... anymore. Before Karis was brought home, I must admit, I did judge. How could people let this happen to their children... how could things get sooo bad, they allowed their children to be taken away to orphanages... where were their hearts, etc. etc. Then, God placed me in an orphanage, in a very small village in Russia, for 19 days. Those were the absolute longest days of my life, and I was at the mercy of the Russian government to let me leave the country with our daughter. In that time, I saw so much... I witnessed men and women struggling to walk down the streets, because they were highly intoxicated. One man fell down in the middle of on-going traffic. A group of young people ran to pick him up and move him to the sidewalk. Prostitutes roamed the streets and hotels and weren't stared at... they were simply existing, part of the everyday landscape. With the fall of the Soviet Union, a lack of jobs, a lack of Christianity, and people turning to alcohol to numb their pain... I could and still do understand. Many of these people weren't privledged to grow up in loving, Christian families with plentiful food, excellent education, and comfortable homes. Again, let me state, I was not in Moscow, the richest city in the world. I was in a little village, southwest of Moscow, 8 hours away by train, and on the border of Ukraine, not too far from Chernobyl. So, I wonder about our daughter's bio family. She means the world to us, is part of us now, and we want her to be "whole" as she grows into a young woman and someday a mother, even. Another emotion I encounter... thinking about how much we love her and how much time passed before we could get her. We missed every birthday until the age of 12. That hurts. She recently remembered that her bio mom had told her, that when Karis was born, she had a lot of hair! Oh, how I'd give anything, to see that baby -even a picture of that baby- with a lot of hair! I bet she was a beautiful baby, just as she's a beautiful teenager! We'll never know how much she weighed, what time of day she was born, who was there when she was born... all of the things we know about our birth children. I have to be at peace with these things, however, because God brought Karis Yulia into our lives according to His timing and plan. So, although we may never know if she was thought about on her special day, nor will we know exactly what she looked like the day she was born, we do know this... we love her so much and are so thankful and blessed to celebrate her FIRST birthday party EVER, with her! She did not know until age 8 that her birthday was April 28th! Apparently, her grandmother came to the orphanage that day, told her, gave her a doll, and left. When I think about our birth children's birthday parties... ALL of the themed parties beginning at age 1... wow. So, this year, we will spoil our little girl! We will show her love, and we will celebrate her! She is worth celebrating... indeed!