Sveta is... Everywhere.

When I think we are totally crazy for pursuing this adoption... crazy, because we absolutely can't afford it, I look around, and there's Sveta! I turn on TV... there she is. I talk with friends... there she is. I go to a concert... there she is! I don't mean in a literal sense, I mean, God talking through others, confirming in my heart, that we're on the right path by adopting. So why this afternoon, after leaving my prayer group, where we had just prayed (deeply) that funding would come through, to pursue this adoption, did I get a phone call from a grant company telling me, we didn't receive the grant?! Ugh... I wasn't going to blog about this, because I didn't want you to have to endure my "downer" thoughts, but I guess I should be honest, too, and quite honestly, today stunk! God- where on earth were you? What do you want us to do? Where is this funding going to come from, that you promised? Ok- - there... it's all out there, the questions that I was asking as my head was spinning! The reason for the concern is that we applied for three grants/loans, and this was the one, I felt the most confident in. I worked really hard on it, and this particular one offers grants to families who are adopting older children (like Sveta) and children with disabilities. I am disappointed, to say the least, but I am NOT losing faith... the enemy would like me to lose faith, but he can just GO AWAY! My God WILL provide, and my God is never late, so the funding will come, some way, some how.

After I got the news, I took Evan to football practice, where I tried not to think about it. Then, we came home and had dinner, and while watching one of our favorite shows, Cake Boss on TLC, what kind of cake was Buddy making in that episode??? A cake for ADOPTIVE families!!! Of all of the shows we could have chosen from our DVR list, we just happened to turn on Cake Boss, and that particular episode just happened to be first on the list! Thank you, God! Yes, I know you're here, and yes, I know you want us to adopt! I will keep on track even though we didn't receive the grant... this IS from YOU!!!

For my birthday, my dear mother got me a Vera Bradley purse and concert tickets to Rascal Flatts! The show was this past Sunday, and.... there was Sveta! What I mean is, before the concert was about to start, and as a friend was asking me questions about how the adoption was going, an interview was happening on the big over-head screen. It was an interview with some concert-goers who were leaving the next day to take over an orphanage! Mom and I looked at each other, our eyes both big! Wow- -what are the odds that those people would be stopped and interviewed! Yes, God, I know you're here, and yes, I know that you are confirming that we are on the right path of adopting a little girl who waits in an orphanage!

As we were driving to Marysville yesterday to visit a cousin and aunt who were in town from Alabama, my mind started to drift, and I began thinking about Sveta's birth mom. I got this really bizarre thought. What if Sveta's mom (who we know has passed)... what if she is in heaven watching down on me?! Perhaps she's now Sveta's guardian angel? What if she knows that God has chosen Kevin and I to be Sveta's parents? What if every time I start to get worried or negative, she is up in heaven thinking - Please don't give up on my little girl! That sort of freaks me out! I would want her to know though, that my heart is in this 100 percent, and I already love (by the Grace of God) her little girl, and I am so thankful that she had her, and that we will be able to raise her, to know Jesus.

Finally, God played a song for me yesterday, and it couldn't be more perfect. I'm going to paste the lyrics; however, I encourage you to take a listen for yourself, because it will translate much better. Before you read, keep in mind, this adoption process is not always easy on us... but the reward will be great! Also, when the song says, "Hold on, you've got to wait for the light" it just so happens that "Svetlana" means "light" and we are waiting for the LIGHT! - Cool, huh?

Ok friends, here are the lyrics and the link to listen!

Love,

Emily


Before the Morning
By Josh Wilson

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Chorus:
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
yeah, yeah,
before the morning,
yeah, yeah

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning



Christian lyrics - BEFORE THE MORNING LYRICS - JOSH WILSON